Relax, it’s not that Jeter

I’m not buying the New York Post’s claim that Derek Jeter is getting married on Nov. 5 on Long Island.

Let’s look at the Post’s reasoning: Someone saw the name Jeter — no first name — in the reservations book at Oheka Castle on Long Island for the weekend of Nov. 5, 2010. They say it’s two days after the end of the World Series, so it won’t interfere with the chase for No. 28. And they say it’s feasible that Jeter and Minka Kelly could get married there because it was good enough for Kevin Jonas.

But let’s rate the red flags, shall we?

The place. Huntington may be fine for a Jonas brother, but I don’t see it for the Kelly-Jeter wedding. No offense. Jeter is more of a Hamptons guy, a Waldorf guy, or a destination-wedding guy. He’d fly everyone to St. Bart’s or to his estate in Tampa for a much more private affair than anything a public venue could provide. (Three red flags)

The date. I don’t like this timing. The World Series dates haven’t been finalized yet, so there’s no way the Post could say definitively that Nov. 5 is two days after it ends. Plus, according to that Wikipedia page, the latest end date would be Nov. 4, just one day before this Jeter wedding. Of course, it’s likely to be earlier after last year’s plague of off-days and inactivity. But I just don’t believe that Derek Jeter — the captain, Mr. Yankee — would cut it that close. Even if the Series ends on Nov. 3, who’s to say that Game 7 would be in New York? What if it’s in Los Angeles? So Game 7 ends late on Nov. 3 in L.A. Either the Yankees fly home immediately or the next morning; either way, Nov. 4 is a lost day. And if they win, there will be a parade. On Nov. 5 or 6, perhaps. Like he’d really schedule his wedding so soon after the Series? Come on.

The name. As it says at the close of the story (note how they bury perhaps the biggest argument against the whole premise), it’s highly unlikely his actual name would’ve been put in the ledger. And even if they did use a real name, why not Minka’s? Why not simply write “Kelly,” a name so common it would hardly draw any attention? And Jeter isn’t as uncommon a name as you might think. A search of Jeter in New York on whitepages.com brought up more than 100 results.

The whole story reminds me of my tenure at a celebrity gossip magazine, where a tip with very little background would lead to a reporter posing as a customer, the results of which would not solidify the story the editors had in mind, but they’d work with what they had.

I could certainly be wrong, but based on what I know about tabloid journalism and celebrity stalking, not to mention the kind of person Jeter is, I’d say that maybe 2 percent of that story is true — Jeter and Kelly are a couple, and they might get married in November. That’s about all I’d bet on at this point.

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